you don't know me.

have you ever regretted telling someone your nickname? i don't mean "my name's michael, but everyone calls me mike." i mean more like "my name is michael, but everyone calls me [insert random nickname resulting from some event, feature, or dirty deed here]."

i go by many nicknames, but i prefer that people i don't know not use my nicknames. i think it's presumptive and a little arrogant to call someone you don't know by their nickname. if i ever came across michael jordan in person, i wouldn't be like "yo MJ! what up?!" i'd be like "hi mr. jordan!" world-class athletes aside, i think it's weird when someone who doesn't know the story or circumstance behind a nickname insists on calling you that. or worse yet, when someone hears your nickname and takes it upon themselves to start using it - without your blessing. that ish irks me.

case in point - during my first week at work, i made the mistake of responding to the "do you have any nicknames?" question asked by my coworkers. i chose to respond with the most universally-known and used one, "j9". little did i know this would basically become my name around the office, so that when those previously unfamiliar coworkers quickly became the thorns in my side, hearing my nickname turned into a form of pavlovian torture. i now cringe whenever i hear 'j9' during the day, because it's basically been bastardized at this point. for the older crowd, it makes them feel cool to say it and like they're down w/me. for the younger set, it makes them feel like we're much better friends than we actually are (except for one coworker, who really is my friend). but it also leads to annoying comments, such as an email today from one of my bosses that read "what does J9 stand for?" um... really? it's a letter and a number, not a complicated acronym with puncutation and such. another brilliant move is when someone has some crap assignment to pass along to me or tries to get out of doing something and they're like "J9 will do it!"

j9 will throw 'bows at you, mofo.

maybe it's just work-related? i'm not really sure. perhaps i consider nicknames best shared and used amongst family and friends, due to their familiar quality and personal nature.